This is a long one, but please read it all--there is a wonderful message towards the end.  I finally got the trim done in Kalyn's room and my own.  What a pill!  It took a lot longer than I thought it would, but it looks nice.  I managed to move all the boxes and dressers out of Keali's room and into the two rooms that are finished.  I even stacked them according to where they will end up.  I know that the boxes will get messed up between loading them into a truck and putting them in storage, but for my now frazzled mind, I am comforted by them being in some sort of order!

Keali's room is almost completely prepped, and I hope will go faster than the others.  I only have to prime one wall (the one with the chalk-board on it) so that should save me some time.  I am dreading the ceiling.  I don't know why--it wasn't difficult in the other rooms.  I am just so burned out on this whole thing.  I think that I should have the bedrooms and the hall completed before people start showing up to help tomorrow evening.  Hopefully I will have most of the kitchen packed too.

My poor Heath is still so sick--though better than he was yesterday.  I couldn't speak to him yesterday too much because he was coughing so much.  I spoke to Kalyn and Keali though.  I told Kalyn that her room looked completely different (I shouldn't have told her).  I explained that the spots weren't there any more.  Her voice sounded tearful when she asked where her bubbles went.  She is in for a shock tomorrow.  I hope she doesn't get too upset. 

I had a wonderful lunch yesterday with my friend (and visiting teacher), Colleen.  We went to my favorite Benton restaurant--Dizzy's Grill--Andrea used to work there and the food, atmosphere, owner (Darla) are all so amazing.  We spoke a little about the move, but mostly about her daughter who moved to Utah last month.

Almost everything that could have gone wrong for Jessica (the daughter) has gone wrong.  Here, Jessica had her life set in order.  She was deciding which school to go to when she was prompted to go to BYU.  She didn't want to go to BYU, but who was she to tell the Spirit He didn't know best!  She applied for BYU, but found out two days ago that she wasn't accepted despite her amazing references, stellar GPA and good ACT score.  Of course she is devastated.  This has come on top of her car breaking down completely and the difficulty of finding a job close to where she lives.  At the least I can say that Jessica is beginning to believe she made a huge mistake.

I shared with Colleen my frustrations at my own situation that I have been having for several months.  I knew that I needed to get a job and that our situation needed to change.  I also knew that no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get the situation to change.  I had felt after many prayers that whatever would work out was what Heavenly Father wanted--but it didn't ease my worrying, nor was I comforted by the apparent stagnation of our progress towards our goals.

Heath and I have always paid a full tithing (for you non-LDS folks, we give a tenth of our income to our church for the building of buildings, care for those who need care, other essential things, and of course for the bounteous blessings that are promised to us by Heavenly Father).  We have always seen and felt the blessings of having paid a full tithe.  We would come into a little extra money when we needed it...we always have been able to pay our bills and support our family.  Things have been getting very tight here lately, and the overall feeling was that the 'roof' was about to cave in and we didn't know what we were going to do.

I had begun to feel abandoned by Heavenly Father.  Why wasn't I seeing those promised blessings anymore?  We were doing everything we could.  My heart knew that our family has always and c0ntinued to be under His constant care, but my head just didn't see it, nor could it feel it.  I asked Heath why this was happening--not being able to come up with a reason or a solution myself.  I asked Heavenly Father for an explanation.  I never heard it.

One day, about three weeks ago, I was reading a talk by Elder Richard G. Scott, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.  It was a talk given in the past conference titled, "To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse."  It was intended for those who were abused, and those who had done the abusing.  Now, I am neither of these, but I felt like I should read it anyway.

I came upon a passage that, though intended for victims, like all scripture and good guidance it can be applied to the most different of situations.  "Even when it may seem very difficult to pray, kneel and ask Father in Heaven to give you the capacity to trust Him and to feel His love for you."  I thought I would go ahead and give it a shot.  I certainly hadn't been feeling the comfort that I had expected to feel after countless prayers.  So I prayed.  I asked to be able to feel God's love, and more than anything to trust him further to help us fix our situation.  I explained that I know He loves me, but that I need to feel it even stronger at this very moment.  We had done everything we could.  We needed him to do the rest. 

I felt it.  Immediately.  I still couldn't see an end in sight, but I knew with a surety that I wasn't alone in feeling this despair.  I was being looked after by Him.  Within a week, our situation changed--dramatically.  I can see the end in sight.  I can also see the steps along the way to this beginning of a conclusion that Heavenly Father laid for us to become better people and to open up certain situations for us.  Amazing.

As I related this story to Colleen, I felt the Spirit so strongly.  I know that she felt the Presence too because she began to cry and thanked me for that, promising to pass it along to Jessica.  I feel the Spirit differently from anyone else I know of.  I don't feel a peace or a calm.  I start to shiver--I am not cold, but my body shivers.  I like to think of it as my body's spirit is so excited by the presence of THE SPIRIT, that it is trying to leap out of my body and join Him! 

I did feel the Spirit and my heart was touched with a reaffirmation of my testimony.  We never know what form it will take, or when we will be prompted to share or let it grow.  I hope that my experience helps Jessica--she is a wonderful girl so I know that she will be okay and I KNOW that Heavenly Father loves her and is with her during this difficult time.  I also KNOW that my Heavenly Father loves me, and is ever mindful of what I need.  Certainly He doesn't need me to tell Him my needs--He knows them.  Sometimes though, I think He does need me to recognize and acknowledge His power and love.  He needs me to ask Him for help--I can't do it all by myself, but He doesn't want me to make Him do it all by Himself.  I am so grateful for this knowledge, and for the opportunity I had to learn it.  I know that this experience has helped me grow, and I am so grateful for it.  This is my testimony to you the world.  In the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.