It’s 2:17 am and I’m awake at the computer. This happens at least once a night. I wake up and then can’t go back to sleep for 1-2 hours. Yuck.
Yesterday at lunch, Heath and I decided (well, I decided and Heath came along) to get some fast food since we didn’t have anything in the house I wanted. We walked to the van and had to go through a virtual cloud of grasshoppers to reach it.
I don’t like bugs. Ever mentioned that before?
So, we are driving down the road. Heath is behind the wheel and starts looking around at his legs. I instantly know there is a bug in the van—but I keep my cool and let him tell me that a grasshopper was jumping on his legs, but he lost it. I can handle this…as long as it stays on his side of the vehicle.
We go a little but further and I am relating a story to Heath when I look down at my leg. I swear it was the biggest grasshopper I have ever seen! I screamed like a banshee and began to kick. Heath (with his great driving skills) manages to not wreck the van and begins lecturing me in an angry voice about not screaming in the car. Meanwhile, the grasshopper has jumped to the windshield and is cowering.
We come to a stop light and Heath uses the “face your fear” approach to make me get the bug out of the car. Seriously? It hasn’t worked in the past and isn’t likely to work in the future.
He hands me some paper to ‘shoo’ the bug out the window. Ohhhh! I got so close, then it leapt right onto my chest and I lost all sense of decorum and began kicking and screaming wildly. Then it disappears again towards the floor. I pick up my purse so that the foul creature couldn’t get in it (can you imagine opening your purse to have a grasshopper jump at you? Shiver….)
I bring it up to my face and the bug is on it!! I quickly shove the purse out the window and shake frantically. It jumped off and the light turned green. Heath again gets on to me because “there was a cop behind us and you are acting a fool.”
Many hours later I can see humor in the situation, but I still don’t like bugs.
4 comments:
Ewww. I HATE it when bugs get in my car. I can handle them in my house better. At least I can run away in my house, but that choice isn't there in the car. It makes things worse.
The biggest grasshopper flew in my face on Saturday. I didn't freak out but that's only because I convinced myself I'm 30 and too old for such outbursts in public. Had I been alone, I'm sure it would have been a different story...
I hate bugs, too. But you tell a very funny story. I couldn't help laughing!
HAHAHHAHAHAQ!!!
Oh you made me laugh so so hard!
I am sorry, I do hope you don't fine any in the near future.
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