I am often struck by how much my life has changed since having children. I have never once wished that I could go back to before I had my kids, but sometimes I do long for a restful sleep!
~Instead of making my own rules and living my life based on what I want, I now take my orders from and base everything I do on my children. It is sometimes challenging to remember that I am the adult and I make the final decisions on everything. Kalyn really does think she calls the shots, and Keali has started to act that way too!
~While I am not the heaviest I have ever been (I am still a big girl), I wear the largest size I have ever worn. My body changed after having kids...I am not the same shape!
~My feet grew a half-size. Annoying!
~Before, when I was in a mood, I just had to wait it out. Now, I just have to receive a smile or giggle from one or both of my beautiful daughters and everything changes.
~I am always in pain...emotional pain that is. I hurt when my children hurt. I hurt when I think what kind of a world my children are growing up in and I struggle to know how to protect them from all the evil things out there.
~I can't really remember a time when I didn't love my kids to death. How empty my life must have been before I had them in it! It is hard to imagine a time without them.
~I can watch Nick Jr. for hours at a time and not want to scream my head off. I love watching Kalyn sing along to her favorite songs.
~I now understand why some people let their toddlers run around half naked and do whatever they want. Being a parent is exhausting! It is constant work.

I love my children more than anything. I try to teach them how to do things for themselves, and then I get depressed when they don't need me anymore to do those things. I cry each time they outgrow a piece of clothing because that means that they are no longer that small and helpless. I look forward to seeing them grow up and be independent, but I hope inside that they will always need me for something. I cry when I remember how badly I wanted to have a family...and how I felt when Heath and I first learned we were going to have a baby. I am horrified when I think about the many women who are able to conceive naturally but do not want the children they have when there are so many women out there like me who are unable to have children naturally, but would give the world to have a baby.

My babies are truly blessings from heaven and I am so happy to have them in my life.