The LAMB Family

2009-12-25T00:38:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas

To all of our loved ones…near & far.

2009-12-24T10:56:00.001-06:00

I am opposed to keeping a baby in his/her car seat when that seat is not in a car. Some people keep their babies in the car seat all the time and I don’t like that. I’ve never believed it is in the best interest of the baby and think that it promotes people to forget that they even have a baby to take care of.

So imagine my surprise when Kaci’s doctor recommended that we have Kynan and Kaci sleep in their car seats at night. We are supposed to do it to prevent reflux. Even more shocking to me was that Kynan and Kaci actually slept very well last night in their car seats! Maybe people are smarter then I gave them credit for. Hmmmmm.

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!!

2009-12-23T11:05:00.001-06:00

I just got back from the dentist. My tooth feels weird.

I hear from Heath that Kaci just has reflux—and that her lungs sound clear. They are doing a chest x-ray to be sure, but hopefully she isn’t as sick as I was worried for! Kaci now weighs 7 lbs 12 oz and Kynan is a whopping 8 lbs 11 oz! He is almost a pound larger!! Wow. I maintain that most of the weight is in his head.

Now lets talk about a little something I call the best show on Wednesday nights…

GLEE

If you haven’t watched it and you love music you are missing out! This show has quickly become one of my favorites—and I don’t watch much tv. Love it! I can’t wait for it to resume in January!!

2009-12-22T19:30:00.001-06:00

My two days of work last week were productive. It was nice to get out and walk around a bit! I missed my babies though!

We saw my Dad Sunday night while he waited for Bryan to come home from Turkey. It was nice to catch up. Then we saw Mom, Ted, Amanda and Ricardo Monday. That was a nice visit too.

Monday was our 8th wedding anniversary! We aren’t huge on celebrating our anniversaries—we keep it really low key. For example, yesterday we went on a date to our favorite date spot. The place we always went when we were dating. Walmart. It may not sound like much, but don’t underestimate the beauty of being able to just get out together to walk and talk!

Kaci is sick again. Heath will take her to the doctor tomorrow while I’m at the dentist. I hope she wont have to go back into the hospital.

2009-12-17T21:15:00.001-06:00

There are a lot of heartbreaking moments in motherhood. Having to watch your tiny babies grow up, for example. Letting your young one trip because she needs to learn how to pick herself up (you don’t let her trip if she will get really hurt though!). One more moment I discovered tonight. I can’t possibly keep every piece of artwork my children create. I simply don’t have the room. But how do I choose? Seriously. How do I choose.

I’m currently accepting suggestions.

This is the very first time I have gotten to sit down all day (with the exception of while I was at my psychiatrist’s office—went well!). I just finished feeding Kynan and Kaci and I got Kalyn and Keali off to bed.

Kaci started crying in her bouncy seat while I finished tucking in my two oldest. When I was done, I went to the living room and picked Kaci up to take her, wrap her up, and put her to bed.

She instantly stopped crying when I picked her up. The smug look on her face (Yeah!! I too was shocked to discover that an eight week old knows how to be smug!!) clearly said, “Yep. I cry, they pick me up. Works every time!” So cute.

How did I get so lucky to have the cutest babies ever?

Now…for my proudest moment today. I cleaned the kitchen! I’m finally so exhausted that I am cleaning. When I get super tired instead of going to bed, I clean. Not just the straightening stuff that I usually do (admittedly that happens rarely)—the deep cleaning. The kitchen is now clean and will stay that way until tomorrow morning at breakfast. Oh well. At least it will sparkle for a few hours.

Kalyn took this picture of Keali this evening. I really like it!

A video of the kids taken just before Strep—2009.

All four.

Kynan is really the cutest little boy I’ve ever seen. I am totally in love with him!

Kaci is so pretty! She has the most expressive eyes.

Kalyn will always be my first precious baby. I wish she wasn’t growing up so fast.

2009-12-16T17:19:00.001-06:00

Still sick but feeling a lot better today. I haven’t been able to get much accomplished. The babies have been crying a lot today.

But…

For the last two nights—in my opinion anyway—Kynan and Kaci slept fairly well. They still woke up the same number of times, but went back to sleep easily and were pretty quiet. I hope that trend continues!

I’m getting ready to go back to work tomorrow. I have had my staff asking me questions all day today trying to prepare for my return. It doesn’t feel like 8 weeks!

2009-12-15T15:57:00.001-06:00

I didn’t sleep at all last night—not at all. My throat hurt. I got up this morning and began to think that I had strep throat. I took the girls to school and headed to the doctor’s office. Sure enough. I have strep. And it hurts. I have a fever, aches, chills, the works. I’m miserable.

I begged Heath to stay home from work to take care of the kids so I could rest. He did and even braved the doctor’s office with all four of them. Kynan and Kaci had their two month check up and got four shots each. Ouch! Kalyn and Keali were supposed to get caught up on their vaccinations, but Kalyn couldn’t because we discovered a severe ear infection. Yuck. Keali got hers, but we also discovered that she has strep! She never said a thing! I had been trying to figure out how I got it and now I know.

It’s only a matter of time before Heath is miserable as well. I just want to cry!

2009-12-14T20:58:00.001-06:00

Oh my goodness. Heath just offered to buy me new tires for my van for Christmas. Uh. No. I’ll take the tires, but don’t try to pass them off as my Christmas gift. I don’t really care what I get for Christmas, but I’m pretty sure that tires would just make me mad.

It has been a day. Heath and I were planning on Christmas shopping this morning—but once we got the girls to school, the bed was just too tempting and we went back to sleep for a couple hours. I need sleep!

We got up and did head out to a couple stores, but didn’t find what we were looking for. After Heath went to work, I hit another store and found it—though I think we may return it and get a different one.

I picked Keali up from school early so we could spend a little extra time together. I don’t know if she liked it. She kept asking if we could go pick up Kalyn. I guess I’m not as much fun as her sister! We walked to pick Kalyn up from school. I had to call Heath to have him walk me through using the stroller for the babies. I haven’t ever pulled it out and inserted the car seats. It was complicated. Maybe I’m just not stroller-savvy.

We got Kalyn and then walked home. It was a very pleasant walk home and I had high hopes for our late afternoon/evening together. Then we got in the house and all four children began demanding dinner. The dinner for Kalyn and Keali had to cook for 30 minutes and I had to hear them demand it about 30 times each. The dinner for the babies didn’t take so long, but was stressful as they were hungry and Kalyn and Keali were too.

I got Kalyn and Keali eating and finished feeding Kynan and Kaci. By that point—and I’m not exaggerating—I could completely understand (not condone, but understand) how some women can abandon their children. I was ready to get in the car and drive away. I don’t know where I would go, but I was ready to head there anyway.

But who would take care of the kids if I left? I couldn’t bear the thought of them feeling abandoned and ultimately Heavenly Father helped me realize that somehow the kids were better off with me around and that I loved them too much to go. It was a struggle though and one that I’m sure I will continue to have.

Depression stinks. Luckily we have psychiatrists who can help. I can’t wait for Thursday.

At some point—I think after the kids weren’t all hungry, they began to behave better and we ended up having a fairly nice evening. They all have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and ALL will be receiving shots. Kalyn and Keali don’t know this yet and we though it best not to tell them until it is too late—considering what happened when we got them the flu and H1N1 shots. I think I’ll have to buy Happy Meals to make up for the horror that will be tomorrow afternoon.

And on a final note—I love Christmas music. As previously mentioned, I’ve had a hard time finding the Christmas spirit this year. I started listening to Christmas music a couple days ago and it did lift my spirits. Music always does that for me. I just keep forgetting the power that notes have.

Oh—and on a really final note—Baby Luke who I asked for prayer for is doing much better. His surgery went very well and he is so much happier! Love you Kelly, Brandon, Kyle, Reese, and Luke!! I’m so happy things are better.

2009-12-13T20:56:00.001-06:00

Some video of the babies.

One of these day’s I’ll take a video of what they do most—cry. They cry all the time! I think they cry more then they sleep. Not kidding. It’s not that they are fussy babies. They just want to be held all the time. I love snuggly babies—but I also love to sleep and I’m not getting enough of one of those things.

Keali seems to be exhibiting her frustrations at not being the baby now. She has gotten very demanding—and Kalyn is still doing that as well. I suppose it will just take patience and time for this to smooth out.

I go back to work Thursday. It is hard to believe that it has already been 8 weeks since the babies were born. Part of me is really ready to go back to work—I enjoy my job and interaction with adults. Part of me isn’t ready yet. I love being with my children and I don’t feel like I have things ‘down’ enough to change things at this point. Luckily, I will only go to work for 2 days then we are off for Christmas break for about two weeks.

2009-12-10T15:17:00.001-06:00

We brought Kaci home today! Her doctor said that her chest x-ray this morning showed her lungs are starting to clear up and she has been doing really well without her oxygen. We just have to keep her on the apnea monitor and keep giving her the caffeine she has taken since she was born.

It is nice to be home again. The girls will be excited when I pick them up from school. I wish Heath didn’t have to work this afternoon. It would have been nice to spend some time together as a family, but I guess that will wait until Sunday.

Okay. Since all of you did such a great job praying for Kaci while she was in the hospital and for both babies when they were born, I have another favor to ask. My cousin-in-law’s son Luke is very sick and had brain surgery this morning. He could really use your prayers too. He is just a baby—five months old. Such a sweetie!

Nothing Short Of A Miracle

2009-12-09T08:42:00.001-06:00

Once a day we have been turning off Kaci’s oxygen to see how she does without it. She will do fine for a few minutes, then her saturation level goes down. A good level is 94 and above. If she goes below 94 and stays below for a little while, the oxygen goes back on and we try again the next day.

This is one of the reasons we stayed in the hospital so long after she and Kynan were born—she just couldn’t keep her saturation levels high enough.

Last night around 7:45 we (I always say ‘we’ because even though we are in the hospital and Kaci has nurses and respiratory therapists, I do pretty much everything in the way of caring for her) turned her oxygen off to test. She has been sat-ing in the high 90s ever since!! A HUGE step in getting to finally go home!

We are waiting for the doctor to do rounds for the day—but I wouldn’t be surprised if we got to go home tomorrow!! Heath thinks maybe we could today, but knowing the doctor who is on call today, I think she will keep us here another night. With Kaci’s history of lung problems (lung disease has not been officially ruled out yet) and dependency on oxygen, doctors have believed that getting her off oxygen would take much much longer.

Kaci didn’t cough at all yesterday or last night (well, maybe one cough, but NOTHING like what she had been doing).

I am a person of Faith. I believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I believe in the power of the Priesthood and the blessings it brings. I believe in the power of prayer. I have felt all of the prayers sent out for Kaci and Kynan and for our family and I want to say Thank You for all of them. Our family is so blessed to have so many friends and family willing to help out—whether in the form of babysitting children or keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. I love you all and I greatly appreciate your part in helping our precious daughter get better so quickly—against all the odds! Thank you for our Miracle!

2009-12-08T21:57:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas everyone! This is all of the grandchildren with Mamaw & Papaw—everyone but Slade.

There Is Something To Be Said For Fruited Jello

2009-12-08T17:35:00.001-06:00

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints sometime get flack for their utilization of Jell-O. Jell-O is practically its own food group. Not quite a liquid…not quite a solid. A myriad of flavors and countless culinary applications. It is inexpensive and really—let’s be honest. Jell-O is a JOY to eat.

I remember as a child visiting my Grandma Jensen. It seemed as though she always had Jell-O in her fridge. The question was what would you find inside the Jell-O. It could be fruit or it could be assorted pastas. I always thought that one of her go-to recipes was to combine any flavor of Jell-O with whatever leftovers were in the refrigerator. Sometimes it worked out. Sometimes not. Jell-O and meat don’t mix. I could be remembering all that incorrectly, but I don’t think so. Maybe some siblings or cousins remember it too. I don’t know.

One of my favorite things growing up was Jell-O with pistachios and marshmallows. Yummy! I still like to eat that whenever somebody brings it to a church function. I don’t have the recipe.

Tonight with my hospital-provided dinner, I had orange Jell-O with mixed fruit for dessert. A simple dessert—but very refreshing. It makes me remember that the best things don’t have to require a lot of time or effort. A simple treat can be wonderful. I love desserts—profiteroles, cheesecake (just plain please—don’t add anything to it), and peach cobbler are among my favorites, but whether a side dish or dessert you can’t beat JELLO!

2009-12-08T12:49:00.001-06:00

Kaci continues to improve. Last night I went home while Heath stayed in the hospital with Kaci.

I have always loved Heath and thought he was a great father, but today I have new respect for him and what he has been doing for the past week. It was exhausting!! I stayed at the hospital until Heath got off work (around 9:30). Then I drove home and picked up the kids. I got them home around 10:30 (and I was lucky…the girls were happy to see me and spend the night with me so there was no fussing when I told them it was time to go home. I think Heath has to fight with them sometimes).

I got them in bed by 11, then got their clothing for the day ready and fed Kynan. Finally I was able to go to sleep a little after midnight. Kynan was rather fussy if he didn’t have me touching him. That meant that I had to have him in bed with me and I don’t sleep well that way. I’m too scared of hurting the baby.

I woke up around 4 to feed the drama queen. That’s right. I said it. Kynan is a drama queen. Not drama king…drama queen. He whines like a girl when he doesn’t get his way and since he is only 7 weeks old and technically wasn’t supposed to be born until yesterday, I don’t always know what his way is or how to best give it to him. When I say he whines like a girl that is not supposed to be derogatory towards girls—he is just high pitched like a female.

Kalyn joined me at 5 am to snuggle. She had another nightmare about a giant baby trying to eat her. We snuggled until 6:40 when it was time to get up for school.

Wow was that hard! Neither Kalyn nor Keali wanted to wake up. I woke Keali up three times and each time she would look at me then roll over and go back to sleep. It was super cute, but I didn’t have time for those shenanigans. It was hard to get the girls dressed and Kynan happened to be starving the whole time. I fed him, got the girls ready, took a shower, and then took the girls to school and Kynan to my Mother-In-Law’s house.

It was exhausting! Heath has been doing that for a week! He says he is used to it and while he is so tired, he has his routine down now. I’m not sure I would have the patience for it for very long.

I had some dental work done this morning and my face is loosing the numbness. My face hurts! My mouth is very very small, and to do some of the work, they had to push around on the outside of my jaw. I’m expecting bruises. I hate going to the dentist, but I have to admit that the one I go to now is probably my favorite of all time. He is very laid back and has a nice southern accent that is calming.

Kaci’s doctor told Heath that she will try to have us out of the hospital by the end of the week. Kaci will more than likely go home on oxygen, but she can’t see keeping her in the hospital for another month just because she needs oxygen. Neither can I. I’m prepared to take her home with oxygen. I just want to get her healthy and home!

2009-12-07T14:28:00.001-06:00

Kaci’s chest x-ray shows improvement! Her lungs are still far from clear, but they are better than they were last week. Unfortunately, Kaci’s latest stunt is to stop breathing. Kaci has always had apnea, but rarely set off the alarms. In the past 12 hours, she has set off the alarms 5 times! It doesn’t freak me out because I just stimulate her and she breaths, but I (make that 7 times) would love to know why she is suddenly so worse in that area.

Tonight Heath will stay with Kaci and I’ll go home with Kalyn, Keali, and Kynan. I have a dentist appointment in the morning to get a crown on the tooth I had the root canal on in August. Not really looking forward to that, but I will be happy when that is taken care of.

Christmas is quickly approaching. I’m having a hard time feeling it this year since we’ve been so stressed with the twins. Yet again we are not having a Christmas tree. Heath and I have only had a Christmas tree one time since we have been married. We just didn’t see the point. It was just the two of us and we lived in a very small apartment.

Then we had Kalyn. I insisted on having a Christmas tree for Kalyn’s first Christmas. Again, we lived in a small apartment and Kalyn was only 11 months old, so we got a two foot tree and stuck it on the table. We moved the next year and the tree didn’t make the packing list.

We haven’t had a tree since. Though we had more room, our children were still very young and we weren’t ever even home on Christmas day. We couldn’t justify spending that much money on a tree and decorations. Last year I decided would be the last year we wouldn’t have a tree. I had planned on shopping the after Christmas sales to pick up a tree and the trimmings. For whatever reason, I didn’t do it and we didn’t get a tree. “No problem,” I said. We could pick up a tree in November.

Well. If you have read even one post from recent weeks, you know what November has been like for us. And December for that matter. So. Yet again—no tree. And I won’t be picking up anything during the after Christmas sales this year either. I have more important things to spend our money on—like a helicopter ride for two.

All this said, I’m not so upset about the lack of a tree this year. As usual we will not spend much time at home that special day (hopefully we won’t be in the hospital at all), and I don’t need a tree to remind me of the season. Actually—I almost feel like this year is an extended Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for—and the list just keeps growing. I feel so much gratitude for my blessings. One day we will have a tree and it will be great. For now we all have one another and that is pretty great too!

2009-12-06T22:24:00.001-06:00

Kaci seems to be improving some. Doctors and nurses say that her lungs sound better—but we will get another x-ray tomorrow morning.

This afternoon, my friend Patience came to the hospital and babysat Kaci for several hours while I went home to see Heath, Kalyn, Keali, and Kynan. The girls were happy to see me, and I cried when I saw them. This is so hard on all of us. Not the way I planned everything—or wanted it to go, but this is what we are having to do and it is difficult to do it without prior preparations. We are so blessed to have family and friends who help out so much.

Kaci really took to Patience. When I got back, she was sleeping peacefully on Patience. It was cute.

At home, Keali sang a bunch of made up songs. It is amazing how much she and Kalyn have grown and changed in the weeks since the twins were born. They are almost completely different people and I don’t feel like I know them as well. I can’t wait to really get back together as a family.

I have always been totally in love with my children. I don’t like that I haven’t been spending as much time with them. Happily, Christmas break is just around the corner and all of us will be together (assuming Kaci doesn’t stay in the hospital) for a couple of weeks without school or work. Heath will have to work some, but he will have plenty of time with us too.

I’m still having to work through the events of October 20th. I mentioned before that I have to work things out completely before I can move past them. I’m not sure why I’m having such a hard time with this. There is nothing I can do to change what happened. There was nothing I could do to prevent what happened. Everything has turned out as well as it could have. So why am I still so messed up about it? I welcome any theories.

It was the closest to death that I have ever been—but I wasn’t thinking about that at the time. I was only thinking about the well being of the babies. Maybe I have to come to terms with that before I can move on, but again…what is there to come to terms with? Everything turned out well.

It’s driving me crazy. Maybe I just don’t need so much time to myself with my thoughts. Going back to work could be very good for me.

Maybe it is because everything went so far outside of what I had planned. I wasn’t prepared for an early delivery. I wasn’t prepared for babies that needed a little extra help. I was sure that things would go my way and I didn’t plan for any other possibility. I like to plan. I don’t like it when my plans go so wrong.

Happier thoughts though. I held Kynan for a while today and even took a nap with him. He is so much bigger than Kaci. I haven’t seen the two of them together in almost a week, but he feels so much sturdier than she does. It’s probably all in the head size, but still. He is an adorable little boy. Really the most handsome baby boy I have ever seen. I may be a bit biased, but I am sure that even if people don’t say it, they are thinking about how cute he is too. Big beautiful eyes. His hair is turning a bit red. So precious!

Both babies finally look like newborns. Funny to think that since they are almost 7 weeks old.

I’ve finished seasons one and two of The Office. I love this show. It is soooo funny! I’m almost halfway through with season three. Patience brought me some books, and Heath bought me a couple books the other day, so I have plenty to do to keep me busy. The TV doesn’t have good color to it, so I don’t watch it too much. I have enjoyed reading a lot lately. I’ve always enjoyed reading but in recent years haven’t had as much time to do it. I’ve loved catching up.

2009-12-05T16:31:00.001-06:00

No great improvement today. Kaci did let me get two consecutive hours of sleep between 8:30 and 10:30 this morning though! It was great! Really sad that I get so excited about this, but great none the less!

Yesterday I spent about two hours looking through peopleofwalmart.com. SO FUNNY!! I wouldn’t let myself spend that much time ordinarily doing something like that, but I have nothing else to do so…

Seriously though—that was hilarious and makes me want to walk around Walmart with a camera at the ready.

I also watched season 1 of The Office and started on Season 2. This show is so funny. I’m going to see if I can find the British version online to watch. It is supposed to be so much better than the American version.

Patience came up today to visit me. It was soooo nice to spend time with her and catch up on some stuff. She is the best!

2009-12-04T17:56:00.001-06:00

Holy cow the nurses hate me! They won’t let me sleep! Why oh why can’t they do everything they have to do at one time rather than spacing it out…one thing per hour. Whine!!

Last night was bad. Kaci threw up twice after eating and didn’t want to go back to sleep. When she finally did go back to sleep, the nurses started their assault.

Kaci is not any better since yesterday. Her chest x-ray was exactly the same. Her coughing doesn’t seem to be as bad, but we will see.

This morning, Julia my Mother-In-Law brought Kynan up to the hospital and then watched Kaci while Heath and I went out for an hour or so. I missed my baby boy and he has grown so much in the past few days. I couldn’t compare babies side by side (I don’t want Kynan catching anything), but I am certain he is much larger than she is at this point.

Heath assures me that Kynan has missed me, but based on the dirty grumpy looks I was getting, I’m not sold. Poor baby! Before leaving, Julia helped me give Kaci a sponge bath. The child screamed from beginning to end! Kind of sad really.

BIG thank you to Tim and Shannon who have loaned me their The Office collection so I can catch up. BIG thank you to Heath for picking up some books for me to read.

2009-12-03T11:56:00.001-06:00

Kaci and I just got settled in the pediatric unit. No more ICU! I would love to never set foot in an ICU of any kind ever again…or hospital for that matter.

Kaci’s chest x-ray shows a little improvement and she is coughing very well now. Last night was the best night yet—she slept so easily. The part that stunk was that after I got her to sleep after her 3 am feeding, they came in at 4 to do blood work—Kaci slept through it—needle prick and all! I did not. At 5 am they came in to weigh her. I had to get up because they weigh her on the bed. Again, Kaci slept through it. At 6 am, they came and did her chest x-ray. She slept through it and I had to get up and leave the room because of the machine. At 7 am, her doctor came in doing rounds. I gave up trying to sleep at that point. It was time to feed Kaci again. Kind of funny really—and I’m not too upset about the lack of sleep.

Heath started feeling sick last night and this morning when I spoke with him he sounded awful. He is staying away from Kaci until he feels better. I hope it is quickly because I enjoy seeing him. I also hope that Kynan doesn’t get sick. Yuck.

The room we are in now is the smallest hospital room I think I have ever seen, but it has everything we need including a rocking chair. I haven’t tried out the television yet but it looks to be circa 1970s. This should be fun. Luckily I have my computer and phone so if the tv is a dud, I still have stuff to do. I also have a good book.

Kaci is worn out from the move. She is so sweet and so cute!

2009-12-02T13:22:00.001-06:00

Kaci and I stayed in the ICU again last night. This morning her chest x-ray showed she was slightly worse—but again…this is something that was expected. Her behavior is quite a bit more fretful and we had a rough night. She didn’t want to sleep at all and I did. It was a big difference of opinion and of course she won. She is still eating well but her cough is more persistent.

I occasionally take walks through the hospital throughout the day to get a break from the ICU. Yesterday afternoon I walked by the nursery and saw two newborns. Both were much larger than Kaci is. She is six weeks old and is so much bigger than she was at birth. I forget that she is still so small. I always said that I wished my babies would stay small longer (they grow so fast!). I’m re-thinking that wish now. Be careful what you wish for right?

In the middle of the night I remembered something that Kalyn did a few days ago that made me so happy. When Kalyn was a baby she loved being swaddled. In fact, she wouldn’t sleep unless she was tightly swaddled. When she would fuss, we would wrap her up and I would lightly stroke her face—from the forehead between her eyes down the bridge of her nose. I would repeat the motion as she fell asleep—it usually didn’t take long. She really loved that.

A few days ago we were at my In-Laws and I was exhausted so I went into a bedroom where the kids were watching cartoons and Kalyn said she would snuggle me until I fell asleep (isn’t she sweet!). As I was falling asleep, I felt Kalyn stroke my face. From the forehead between my eyes down the bridge of my nose. She did it a few times then kissed my cheek. I have told her before that I had done that when she was a baby and I still do it occasionally when we snuggle. I thought it was so sweet that she did it to me to help me fall asleep. What an angel!

2009-12-01T14:26:00.001-06:00

Last night wasn’t so great. Kaci did okay—her cough has gotten much worse and her breathing is labored. We found out from the chest x-ray this morning that her right lung is completely blocked, but her left is clear. This was expected though so I’m not totally freaking out.

This is the first time I’ve ever stayed in an ICU overnight. An adult ICU that is. We were in the ICU with Kalyn for several days after her surgery, and in the NICU with Kynan and Kaci for a couple of weeks. This was the first time in a normal ICU. It was sad.

In addition to having to hear my own child’s alarms sound all the time, I had to hear the alarms of all of the other patients. Including the alarms of the brain dead man two rooms over—they go off A LOT. Along with hearing all of his alarms, I had to hear the wails and pleas of his family for several hours.

The man has been brain dead for several days—but the family just won’t let him go. They keep begging him to wake up. His sister is the loudest. She has the traditional southern belle voice and just sounds so frantic for him to wake up. The nurses think that the family has an alcohol problem because they all act drunk every time they are here.

I feel bad for the family but even worse for the man. I have never understood why somebody would want to keep technically alive a person who will never truly be alive (in this way) again. Of course, this is coming from a woman who has never been placed in that situation. I don’t know how I would behave or react-but I like to think that I would be able to keep an eternal perspective. I am sure it is an impossible thing to say goodbye though.

We are still in the ICU today since Kaci is worse—but maybe we can be moved to the floor this evening.

Kaci is the smallest person to ever stay in this ICU. They don’t usually accommodate babies—especially not this small. The nurses have had trouble with a few things they are not used to doing and have had to call in help from pediatrics a couple times. It is particularly hard to get IVs started on Kaci—it always has been. Her veins are very small and don’t like being poked. Her IV from yesterday went bad this morning so they had to put another one in. Thankfully they only had to poke once this time. She is very brave. Her cry is quite a bit stronger now. I am very thankful for that.

The bed I slept on last night was interesting. It is designed to keep patients from getting pressure ulcers, and it changes shapes/hardness periodically with the help of air. It was fun to get used to. It scared me the first few times. I didn’t know if the world was moving or if it was my imagination—but I got used to it and when I was actually asleep, I slept pretty well.

Heath had Kynan, Kalyn, and Keali last night and this morning. He kept Kalyn and Keali home from school because both have been feeling bad. Kalyn got sick at school yesterday and Keali has been having tummy trouble. Kynan slept very well last night, but I know Heath didn’t. This situation isn’t ideal—but I am still thankful that we caught it early and are able to treat it.

I think about the people who lived a hundred years ago. If we had been among them, and all of what has happened happened then, we would have a much different outcome. We are blessed to have the technology and medical knowledge we have today.

I Am SOOOO Over Hospitals

2009-11-30T15:00:00.001-06:00

Kaci has had a cold. Saturday she developed a pretty nasty sounding cough and started throwing up her formula when she coughed while feeding. Heath thought he could feel her lungs vibrating when she breathed so this morning we took her in to see the doctor.

They checked her 02 saturation and it was borderline low. Then she started turning blue. They did a breathing treatment on her—and it made her worse. They said that could happen in a preemie. After turning blue a few times, and her 02 dropping into the definitely not acceptable range, we were sent to the hospital.

Luckily this time we didn’t have to go in an ambulance—we just had to have the doctor ride in the car with us. We can’t do anything low-key.

Now Kaci is in the Critical Care Unit (as a precaution—to keep a close eye on her for a while). She had a chest x-ray and we found out she has pneumonia. We caught it very early so I am hoping that she kicks it quickly and we are out of the hospital in a couple of days.

If she doesn’t get worse she will be moved to a regular room tomorrow. If she does get worse it will be back to Little Rock for her. Please pray for us that she doesn’t get worse.

My poor little Kaci-Bear! Life has been pretty rough for her. Of course I feel guilty—I had a cold and gave it to her. Her cry is absolutely heartbreaking. I can tell she wants to yell out—but she doesn’t have the energy to do so and she is hoarse as well. It took three attempts to get the IV going—but thankfully they got it in. It is painful for her to go through this.

Kynan doesn’t appear to be sick at all. I hope he stays that way.

Poor Kalyn and Keali. Just when we start to get things normalized—everything is turned over again. I would love some stability right about now. Still—we are blessed. I’m happy we brought Kaci to the doctor this morning and I am soooo happy that things aren’t worse than they are.

2009-11-29T08:40:00.001-06:00

My extra long weekend with Heath is quickly coming to an end. It’s amazing how dependant I get on having two adults around the house I get so quickly! I’m almost dreading tomorrow afternoon when I will have to pick the girls up from school with the babies by myself! I’ll manage it though.

I’m a single mom at church today. Heath and the babies are staying home—Heath really needs a little extra sleep. I need it too, but I’ve been able to sneak a nap in here and there so he is a bit needier than I am at this point.

I hope the girls are reverent in church. I know most parents believe their child/children are the most irreverent ones—but I am positive mine are. They talk during prayers and that is the quietest thing they do. Any suggestions?

A Sleeping Dragon

2009-11-28T12:41:00.001-06:00

We usually feed the twins on Kynan’s schedule. If he gets hungry—we feed them both. Kynan is the one who usually demands to be fed every three hours.

Last night, we fed them on Kaci’s schedule. She does NOT appreciate hunger. She made us suffer for making her hungry. It took quite a while to get her calm enough to eat and even longer after she ate to get her to go back to sleep. Up until that time, feeding was the one area Kaci was not high maintenance. Now we know not to wake a sleeping dragon.

2009-11-27T10:38:00.001-06:00

Thanksgiving was fun for us. I always love seeing family that we don’t get to see too often.

Richie, Debi, and Kylee have come up from Texas for a few days. Kalyn and Keali are loving their playtime with their “Baby Cousin Kylee.” We are taking pictures of the 6 grandchildren—4 of them were born this year! Lots of babies around here.

Kylee is a chunk. And she is ADORABLE! I watched her for a little while the other night while Heath, the girls, Richie and Debi went bowling. She was such a little snuggle bug and was fun to hold.

Kynan and Kaci are doing well—Kaci has a cold in her eye and looks so sad, but she is otherwise okay.

So many cute things have been done and said lately but I just can’t remember them all. I remember Keali talking about her “cellephone.” That angered Kalyn because there is no such thing as a cellephone. It is a cell phone and Kalyn has no patience for anyone being wrong about something that she has deemed right.

We’ve been singing and dancing to music from Glee—and the girls are so cute with that.

Heath and I are as tired as ever—but coping with it much better.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!